Wrestlemania 33 is in the books. It looks like The Undertaker has set off towards the setting sun, having been defeated by ROMAN REIGNS and despite the fact that I’ve watched WWE since I was 10 (I’m 27 now.) I couldn’t give a care more than wishing Undertaker well in what may be his actual retirement.
I’ve gone from being a fan of nothing but WWE to barely getting through Wrestlemania for the 3rd year in a row with my sober faculties intact. Yes. I’m writing this while inebriated, so bare with me. I tend to ramble enough, sober.
My issues, for as few as they may be started when Randy Orton beat Bray Wyatt for the WWE Championship. Bray has a great character, despite what the IWC would lead you to believe (OMG, he’s been BERRIED!!). He’s had three major matches at ‘Mania, first against Cena, then against post-streak Undertaker and now against Randy Orton for the WWE Championship that Bray won at Elimination Chamber. All three of these outings have resulted in failure for Bray. Not to mention John Cena and The Rock eviscerating the Wyatt Family at WM32.
Despite all of Bray’s mind games within the match (projecting maggots and cockroaches onto the mat), Randy won with the RKO (out of nowhere) for a very underwhelming finish. I hoped for a better match given the build up, and not something as disappointing as that.
Then the Main Event. Roman Reigns Vs The Undertaker for control of “The Yard”. We all knew what this was going in, but it didn’t make it any easier to watch. This, for me, was a sub-par facsimile of Shawn Michaels Vs Ric Flair from the last time Wrestlemania emanated from the Citrus Bowl. Roman was going to end The Undertaker. And he did. It didn’t have the emotion of HBK Vs Flair, or even the second HBK Vs Undertaker. It was just business, and I’m sure that’s not how any of us wanted to see Undertaker retire.
Undertaker snuffed out HBK’s career, when Michaels defied him. He ended it point blank with a jumping Tombstone Piledriver. Shawn wouldn’t go out like a defeated hero like Ric Flair, who simply begged for the move to end his career. Undertaker did almost the same thing as the Heartbreak Kid before being out down by the spear.
One of the things that really stood out, was something that had long been joked about on the “Wreddit” /r/squaredcircle.
The hat and trenchcoat left in the ring.
It took away a special moment for me, because all I could think of was an in-joke turned reality.
However, despite this whole thing, I realized something.
I just don’t like the WWE anymore. I’ll watch the Big 4 PPVs in Wrestlemania, Summerslam, Survivor Series and the Royal Rumble, but I don’t feel like I want to watch week to week anymore. Or even the B-PPVs like your Fast Lanes, Road Blocks and various gimmick PPVs. Usually when I do, I won’t even enjoy them.
I am a self-loathing WWE watcher. I will regret watching after I do. I’m regretting watching Wrestlemania now, at 7:05am on April 3rd. I’m still VERY tipsy, because A) I’m actually quite ill right now, and B) I dodged my next dose of flu fighting medicine so I wouldn’t have to endure Wrestlemania sober.
I’m a smart fucking cookie.
I just can’t handle it anymore. I enjoy wrestling still, but it’s usually live shows that I attend like Revolution Pro, PROGRESS and Insane Championship Wrestling over WWE shows that I watch over the WWE Network. Maybe I’ve become a wrestling snob. But I really don’t enjoy the main roster stuff anymore. It’s become boring to me. Maybe my tastes have changed, maybe live wrestling with different wrestlers has ruined me to what the WWE has become, even with the influx of highly regarded indie talent.
Here I am. 27 years old. Wrestling fan. Bored as fuck with the WWE. Wrestlemania has lost it’s shine. It’s like my first Christmas after finding out that Santa isn’t real. Sorry, World Wrestling Entertainment.
It’s not me. It’s you.